The Inner Beast of Rosebud - The Copenhagen Case

Fantastika 2007 - Eurocon

Dedicated to Olav.


One day I found Rosebud in my home with mister Carl C. There was a huge argument going on. When I entered the kitchen Carl bubbled insults, something about Rosebuds' literary taste. The badge that Rosebud had attached to her bosom said "What fucking new weird?", and I closed my ears. This is a battle you would not like to join.

I gave them a couple of books to read to stop the arguing. They ended up doing a sf travel around the world. "Hungary..spas..." mumbled mister Carl C. "I prefer Nordic countries", Rosebud said and turned pages. Denmark!

And then they found an interesting Danish work: Nicolai Klimii iter Subterraneum from 1741 by Ludwig Holberg. "That early?". "I remember Ludwig, such an interesting guy. Such an interesting country", mister Carl C. replied.


"They have this sort of conference there" Rosebud said. "Don't they?". She looked at me. Sharp.

I nodded. I sighed. I yielded.


We had a nice sea trip. Mister Carl C. had vanished in the harbour. "He has his own routes", said Rosebud. Åland's archipelago is the most beautiful in the whole world. She held hands with an English guy.
I watched how Rosebud carried salty licorice, licorice vodka, tar candies and other strange Finnish stuff to our cabin. I did not dare to ask. There had to be an explanation for all that. I have a feeling that I'll find it out soon.
We arrived at Copenhagen and found our way to the con venue the next day. In front of the Info disk I tried to take a picture of the local shaman, Tero Ykspetäjä, who is told to be internationally famous, but I stumbled and there is her face again. Rosebud.
We followed the orders of this strange UFO event Fantastika and found ourselves in the City Hall. And blimey - there was a huge amount of people and everyone seemed to know Rosebud. I think that this particular female was the editor of Misty or Usvala, Anne Leinonen. She was a hell of a passionate woman. However, there seemed to be a guy around her all the time, carrying an axe. Hmm...actually, now I understand why....
The people of Finland seemed to treat this lady as a sort of goddess or queen. Well, she looked very powerful in her black leather jacket. Her worshippers called her "The Supreme Queen of Everything, and the Wizard of Danish Smörgårdsbord, also".
 Rosebud met also an old fried, Evangelicum, an Italian crayfish. He told us that he had walked all the way from Naples to Copenhagen to meet L. Ron Hubbard's fine and friendly  children. "These two children are by the way called Bean and Snow and are not related to him, unfortunately".

"You are kidding" I said.

"Pasi Välkkynen was so dear and helped me out of my suitcase" Rosebud said to me. I did not ask why she still had her luggage with her. Neither did I ask what was she searching from there. I think it was related to tar or booze. Sigh. On the other hand she did not notice what Pasi did behind her.


I do not understand why Rosebud keeps giggling at me when she sees this picture. I just hugged Martin Hoare and then he had to go to hospital. It was not my fault. And I am absolutely convinced that it was Martins fair haired guardian angel that saved him. I was surprised she was caught on this picture - I have been told that angels are invisible to innocent people. But on the other hand the camera is as pure as me.
Rosebud's speech at the Copenhagen city reception was excellent. She told how new age literature gives people hope in this modern life, and she empahized how believing in fairies and unicorns gives people a deeper sight in everyday life.
However she was disappointed to the behaviour of the con people. She was just reporting about the  recent paranormal activities in the centre of Copenhagen, especially in the famous five star Hotel Absalom, where spirits move faster and more than ever, when she looked up to the audience and saw that everybody had left.


Well, the food was delicious. Thanks to the city of Copenhagen.

Back at the con we met Harry. Harry is so sexy, whispered Rosebud. I nodded. "Mr. Harrison for you, young lady", Mr. Harrison said wryly. "Do not even try."
Meeting Harry made Rosebud somewhat restless, and when Mr. Baxter arrived to the cafeteria she could not refuse the temptation anymore. "Oh, you are my favourite fantasy short story writer", she said.

I was so grateful to Mr. Baxter for his understanding. And I really thank him for posing with Rosebud. and I am so ashamed that Rosebud did not recognized the brilliant successor of the famous UFO writer Erkki von Däniken from Finland

I gave Rosebud some painkillers and coffee, and took her to a small walk around this fantastic city. She cooled a lot, and when we came back to con venue, she had a lively conversation with a fine young boy from the country called Vantaa. They talked about chess, creative writing and rocket science. Touko Hirsjärvi spoke almost fluent english, as all the citizens of Vantaa. He told us there would be a Finn party upstairs.
Of course we went there. Again I thought that Rosebud had got into a bad lung company. I was wrong, It was Toukos' granny. Quite loose dentures, I think.
This picture was sent me later. It was Rosebud who took care of the Finn party, almost single handedly! There went the licorice and all the tar to the mouths of the godless.
It looks that the man with an axe was not there at this particular moment...
I was on the corridor when I saw this furious man looking at Rosebud. "Oh my god, now she is in a deep trouble". That is Jukka "The Rather Weird" Halme. The editor of the anthology of new weird published in Finnish.
"Here, my pal, this is a badge that cannot be carried by anyone else than you", she said and gave this guy the badge she had been carrying since our trip started.
Now Jukka looked quite happy. Rosebud was still a little bit shaky. But alive.
"Dobbelgänger! No, my inner beast!" shouted Rosebud. Ben Roimola agreed, hiding his vampire teeth and leather wings.

"Have we met before?"

Ben just smiled...

The next morning Klaus called me. Someone had crawled from under my towel.

"It's Rosebud!" I shouted. She woke up and yawned.

"I had this strange dream", she whispered. "I thought I met Cheryl Morgan on my way through the Carlsberg gate and we had a bit Cardhu and some tar candy and some Laphroaig."

I grinned. "I think it was not a dream. She took you home and took care of you. She is an angel."

"Oh dear." I heard a voice behind me. "I warned her. After all, she IS a bit smaller than us."

"Blimey" Rosebud hugged Cheryl. "I have talked with the Finns. I shall vote you as a Best European SF-Promotor. You network weaver!"

Cheryl winked her eye. "Oh dear. No whisky for you any more, I'm afraid."

I grinned again. "Do not listen to her. We already nominated you. Whisky or not."

There were no whiskey on the table when I arrived to the con venue. Eemeli Aro tried to prevent  the other twin eating the nuts, Irma was - again- drinking water (what is she, a nun?), and Jukka Halme had his morning sixpacks.
And Rosebud tried to read the small print. For heaven's sake. Someone tell her to go to optician.
This picture is from a local newspaper. I do not know how the police had this funny idea that we had a Demonstration and we wanted to Occupy the con venue (that sort of things are common in Copenhagen. Stupid youngsters: they should have demonstrations against their prime minister Rat Rasmussen who permitted torturing of Iraqis and lied the Danes about it).

Rosebud was arrested.

The Danish Iraqi interrogation team was there, too. And they had big guns, as usually.
Luckily, Klaus  Mogensen was there, and after few friendly words from him they let Rosebud go.
Rosebud needed some refreshment after that. "Do not worry" said Jautero. "You should see how they treat me in USA customs." 
Afterwards we almost all had some supper in a Chinese nearby. Jautero, Anne, Maija, Cheryl and Jukka giggled to the jokes of Rosebud, while the twins with some adults had also arrived and tried to order some stuffing.
This picture is taken from Russians' conzine. Pickled cucumber is REALLY good, with smetana and honey.
It was amazing how many Finns there were: you could count Ahrvid Engholm as one of us, if he wouldn't have mentioned in his conreport that we served smaller portions of booze than the Russians.

Timo Vuorensola - the director of Star Wreck - should have drank less vodka - he dropped all the secrets of their next production Iron Sky. The most interesting of them was that Rosebud shall be the main villain in their next production! No wonder Hollywood has been interested.

The Supreme Queen of Everything. Marianna Leikomaa and Jukka Halme gave a massage to Rosebud, while Ben Roimola, the Fan Quest of Honour of the Finncon´07 in Jyväskylä told her to relax. "It is an old custom and they do this to all their Guests of Honour, but only in Jyväskylä."
I was just leaving when I met my old friends Han and Leia. They took a picture of me and Rosebud (we shared a bus home) and I took a picture of them.

I was really sad I had to leave. Han and Leia promised to drop by on the way to their  base.


When I climbed on the Nunneblod box I was happy we were home again. And happy that no one but me liked red wine. Mr. Carl had got lost, but he had found some friendly octopusses on his way to Germany and back.

Home sweet home.


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