The Inner Beast of Rosebud - The Åland Case


Last time in Åcon, in 2008, I was so busy that I forgot to take pictures. But not this year!


When I visited Dr Ipa she bathed me in the fancy bowl before I was able to say no. Then she noticed the pirate balloon I had brought with me.

- Is that from Åcon?

Immediately my memories went back to the cool night  and the early hours, when we left from Jyväskylä to archipelago of Åland.
After Tampere we met some friends in the cafeteria.

- You were there, too, I suddenly remembered.

- That's true, Dr Ipa said wryly, you did not notice me at all...

- But I remember Jonna.

Dr Ipa sighed jealously.

- Of course.

- Did you know we actually stole the car we drove?

Dr Irma looked stunned.

- Isn't it illegal, even in Jyväsböle?

- But it was such a good vehicle. And you could hear the radio too, unlike in your Lada.

Dr Irma was not pleased.

-Ahh, remember all the sleepy people in Turku, giggled Dr Irma

- Oh yes, I nodded, digging soap from my ear. Silent people.


- Even I had to take nap.

We both nodded. Silence.

- Did you meet Eve, Dr Ipa asked?

- Oh yes, and Mr Norppa, too. Nice couple, indeed.

- Very kind. Yes. I liked her attitude.

- Excellent female, I would say.

- Remember the boat ballet?

- That was phenomenal! Gosh, I was so sure that they all would crash.

- Lousy music, I said.

- Yeah, you hardly heard anything.

- Nice pirouettes, though, I added.


- I must confess I was glad that we were at  the same hotel than in previous years, said Dr Ipa.


-Easy to find, I nodded.

- The name of the local bar was exotic.

- You mean ATLUK NIPAL? Think if someone uses that kind of name, like in his web site?

We laughed.

- Must be a Swedish name, I said.

Dr Ipa nodded knowingly.


- Remember how cool the organizers were?

- Yes, I did not miss the badges either.

The Guest of Honour Steph Swainston was marvellous. She absolutely mesmerized her audience.

- Have you read her books, Dr Ipa asked.

- Oh yes. Excellent. Great plot, stylish style. I was impressed.

Wonderful lady, I said in my mind.

- Momentarily I thought I was in Tampere, said Dr. Ipa

- Me too, I said. I wonder why.

- And there were many guys called Pasi.

I nodded.

- The opera singer was a delightful surprise.

- You mean Star Wreck -opera.

- Yes, I said. What was his name?

- Jarmo Bushkala?

I nodded.Again.

- Great Russian tradition.


- Then thay gave you a very nice cup, I said. I could hardly hide the jealousness in my voice.

Dr Ipa smiled.

- It was a MUUMIN cup AND a MOOMIN mobile phone jewelry AND a MUUMIN coaster.

I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye.

- Did you go to the sightseeing places, I asked and sniffed a little.

- Oh yeah, said Dr Ipa. I walked quite a lot. One of the best things is that there is so much to see. I even went to find geocaches with Otto and Paula, and climbed to a mountain of 130 metres high!

- This high?

- Higher, she said proudly.

I did not mention why I did not do so much trekking. I changed the subejct.
- Did you see how the young gentleman grabbed Eves arse, I asked.

Dr Irma looked stunned.

- You must have misinterpreted the whole event, she said.

- Did you know that the Stallhagen brewery is owned by the locals, she said suddenly.

I tried ro remember.

- Oh yes, that was a really nice trip, I said.

- They even let us drink as much as we could, Dr Ipa said. Even they knew most of us were Finns!

I grinned.


That was nice. Great beer Stallhagen is, cousin of Laitila brewery's  Kukko beer. Not so long but very nice aftertaste, good beer.

- I liked all of them

- Me too.

- Were you at the bar, I asked?

- No, said Dr Ipa. I had to rest so we used that time efficiently and read the short stories of Tähtivaeltaja competition.

- Are you serious? Even though the Guest of Honour of Eurocon 2011 was hosting the show? 

 - Who?

Dr Ipa sighed.

- Actually, I did not like that praying.

- Everybody else was there, I said.

- Of course they were. But you were not there.

- What?

- I was actually babysitting Juho and YOU with Anne, said Dr Ipa.

I blushed. Darn that aquavit. I have forgotten some things, I see.


Like the moment when Ahrvid popped into our room.
...and some parts of the room party.

- The room party was held in Kimmos's room?

Dr Ipa nodded and grinned.

- You had such a good time there, Dr Ipa said. Tapio and you had a looooong discussion about cognacs. He had a nice bottle of excellent Hennessy with him...


...and then you told Petri how much you adored his cartoons and movies and you told him how you admired everything in him... I remember quite clearly, said Dr Ipa smugly.
Well, Jussi could reveal what really happened, said I.

-He probably did not drink at all, confimed Irma.


We looked at each other for a moment, with disbelief.

- Or Topi, said Dr Ipa.
Then we both sat there for a moment. Flashbacks.

- Anne was there, I said quietly.

And Jouni Jukkala, said Dr Ipa.

- I remembered how Jouni had told me about the Jyväskylä Science Fiction Society 42. Something like "It's jolly good that Virpi is the chairperson now, but darn we really got to get rid of the secretary..." or something like that. Nice guy, this Jouni.

- I wonder who is that lousy secretary, said Dr Irma,

I was happy that I had not put my Batman costume on. Some wine and beer and other stuff was spilled.
- Did I  tell you that I had an extraordinary dream, Couple of Vilijonkas were waiting for me at the beach. it was night and shades danced poetically around the sea bay. Long low howl made me goosebump. Air was filled with sadness and emptiness.

Dr Irma looked at me a bit worried.

-It must be the sea air, she said

- And I remember that Johan had a nice butt.

Irma closed her eyes looking like she had been hit by a sudden migraine.

We agreed one thing. What a guest of honour we had, I thought, and listened to her amazed. Good choice.
- But who was the big guy waving his hands here and there, asked Irma.

- Oh, nobody, just a guy who shall be the Guest of Honour in 2011 Eurocon, I said.

- Oh the same man, then? He, the great Juika Huu.

We talked about the next evening.

- I had a book with me, but the party of the previous night was too much.

- and it was surprising to wake up by a young blonde. He was sweet and revealed that I had just went to a wrong room. He did not dare to wake me, for I had looked so tired (and sweet).

For some reason Dr Irma looked stunned.

- The boys in the opposite site of the corridor were jumpy kind of specimens. Touko Valtteri Leander and Jan-Erik Nikodeemus. Must be royals with that kid of names, I said.
- Where there any other friends of yours?

- Oh yeas! I met my very dear friend Tuomas, and we had an excellent pool game. Too little pockets for my taste. Must complain.

- I don't know if borgs were allowed to enter the hotel, but there they were, I complained.
- I did not see them, sair Dr Irma

Scary when they look at you, arent' they, I thought.

- But what happened in that toilet, asked Dr Irma.

Well, it started as an advertisement of Green Man's Press and the works of Charles Vess and ended up a toilet game of one man and three ladies.

- ....and the result was of course fabulous!
Dr Irma nodded.

- Our Guest of Honour could not have agreed more.

I told Dr Irma how all the aliens were loose. MY good friends from the planet Xdftaxyggardf had arrived a little late.
- And suddenly we had to leave, I sighed

- She had a lovely hair flag, said Irma.

I nodded and wiped a tear, secretly.

- It was a nice looking group of Nordic aliens.

- Like a group of pirates departing.


I remembered how I went to get some sunlight.

I told that to Dr Irma.

She nodded.

- Hannele Parviala and Petri Hiltunen were there, obviously checking new filming locations.

- Did you go and talks to them, asked Dr Irma with innocent voice.

I did not answer.

I could have said to them that Koskenkorva-deck would have been a very good candidate for the next movie. Just my opinion.
Then I realized where my dream had emerged. This was land of Tove Jansson.

Dr Irma agreed.

- I met the nice blond again, and we had some lunch.

- Oh really, said Dr Irma. Good for you.

- That was an excellent trip. Shall we go there again next year?

- Yes, I said and raised my hand. So did she.

- HI FIVE!!!!



Rosebud's previous adventure